Whether new to BDSM/kink culture or an experienced practitioner, this page exists as an all-in-one glossary covering all terms and phrases you’re likely to come across.
Whichever way someone is introduced to BDSM/kink culture—whether through pornography, or by their partner(s)—the amount of new phrases and expressions can be overwhelming or even intimidating. That’s where we come in. We’ve collated this page as a comprehensive and all-inclusive digital BDSM/sex dictionary, with definitions and explanations of all terms you’re likely to encounter.
If you’re unsure of a specific kink or expression you come across on your kinky journey, or you’re looking to educate your partner (or someone else who’s curious), this page can serve as a point of reference. We hope you learn something new here and find the content useful. Feel free to bookmark the page for easy access to return to later.
DISCLAIMER: This comprehensive glossary serves as an educational resource covering BDSM terminology, kink practices, and related concepts of human sexuality and relationships. The content includes terms used by BDSM practitioners, as well as broader sexual behaviours, orientations, paraphilias, and relationship dynamics.
This information is provided for educational purposes only and does not constitute endorsement of any particular practice. All BDSM activities should be practised between consenting adults with thorough communication, clear boundaries, and established safety protocols. The inclusion of historical or clinical terms does not reflect current medical consensus or appropriate usage in all contexts.
Alphabetised SEX Glossary
A
Aftercare [n]:
The emotional and physical care given to participants after BDSM scenes. Aftercare is important to support mental health after BDSM scenes, particularly those of a more extreme nature.
Ageplay [n]:
Roleplay where participants act as if they’re different ages than their actual age.
Anal Play [n]:
Any sexual activity involving stimulation of the anus.
Androgynous [adj]:
Displaying characteristics of both male and female genders.
Androgyny [n]:
The characteristic of possessing traits typical of both male and female genders.
Arabian Goggles [n]:
A sexual act of placing testicles into their partner’s eye sockets.
Ass Worship [n]:
The act of giving sensual stimulation to a partner’s anus, gluteus and/or rectum; usually via oral stimulation. This is usually done by a submissive to a Dominant to reinforce their power dynamic.
B
Ball Busting [n]:
The act of kicking, slapping or hitting a male’s testicles to administer pain and achieve masochistic/sadistic gratification.
BDSM [acronym; n]:
Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism.
Blowjob [n]:
Oral stimulation given to a male, mainly referring to the penis.
Brain [n]:
Oral stimulation of the genitals; can be performed on any gender. Although it originates as a male-only term, playing on the popular expression: ‘all men think with their penises’.
Bondage [n]:
The practice of physically restraining someone, usually with rope, handcuffs, tape, or specially designed deprivation tools.
Boot Worship [n]:
The act of kissing/licking a Dominant’s boots to achieve masochistic gratification as a form of sexual worship—performed by a submissive/masochist.
Bottom [n]:
The person receiving sensation or control in a scene.
Brat [n]:
A submissive who enjoys challenging their dominant.
C
CBT (Cock & Ball Torture) [acronym; n]:
BDSM activities involving male genital stimulation.
CEI (Cum-Eating Instructions) [acronym; n]:
Instructions, usually given by a Dom/Domme for a male submissive to consume his own semen in a humiliating (and erotic) manner.
Chastity [n]:
The practice of refraining from sexual activity, often enforced with devices.
Cuckold (Cuck) [n]:
A man whose partner has sex with others, often with humiliation elements.
Cuckqueen [n]:
A woman whose partner has sex with others, often with humiliation elements.
Cunnilingus (cuni/cunny) [n]:
The act of oral stimulation of female genitals.
D
Deviant [n]:
Deviating from conventional sexual behaviour.
Dildo [n]:
A sex toy designed for penetration.
Discipline [n]:
Training or punishment to correct behaviour.
Dom/Domme (Dominant) [n]:
The person who exercises control in a BDSM context. Dom is the masculine abbreviation. Domme is the feminine abbreviation.
Dommy Daddy [n]:
A dominant male figure in a BDSM relationship.
Dommy Mommy [n]:
A dominant female figure in a BDSM relationship.
D/s Relationship (D/s Dynamic) [n]:
A relationship based on Dominance and submission dynamics.
Dynamic [n]:
In a BDSM context, ‘dynamic’ describes the particular relationship style between partners (e.g. Domme/sub dynamic, Owner/pet dynamic, Master/slave dynamic, etc.).
E
Edging [n]:
Bringing someone to the brink of orgasm repeatedly without release.
Erotic [adj]:
Describing media/material that evokes and mentally stimulates sexual arousal.
Erotica [n]:
Media of a sexually erotic nature, usually in the form of novels, comics or images.
E-stim (Electric stimulation) [adj; n]:
The act of stimulating oneself with an electrically charged sex toy. Or, an adjective to describe an electrically stimulating sex toy.
Exhibitionism [n]:
The act of exposing oneself in a public or semi-public context.
F
Face Busting [n]:
The act of slapping, hitting or kicking a submissive’s/masochist’s face to achieve masochistic/sadistic pleasure.
Fellatio [n]:
Oral stimulation of the penis.
Fetish [n]:
Sexual arousal from objects, materials, or specific body parts which are atypical of procreative purposes.
Findom (Financial Domination) [n]:
The fetish/kink associated with financial domination, where a submissive pays money to a dominant counterpart in order to achieve sexual gratification.
Fingering [n; v]:
The act of inserting a finger (or multiple fingers) into the vagina for sexual stimulation.
Finslave (Financial Slave) [n]:
A nickname given to a submissive/masochist who achieves sexual gratification by paying money to their Dom/Domme.
Fisting [n; v]:
The act of inserting an entire hand (usually balled into a fist) into the vagina to achieve sexual stimulation.
FLR (Female-Led Relationship) [acronym; n]:
A BDSM relationship where a female Domme takes charge. This can be 24/7 or only in certain domains of life, like during sex.
Foot Boy [n]:
A nickname given to a submissive with a foot fetish, who enjoys worshipping feet.
Foot Fetish [n]:
Sexual interest/attraction toward feet as a primary body part.
Foot Fetishism [n]:
The paraphilic focus on feet for sexual arousal.
Foot Slave [n]:
A nickname given to a submissive with a foot fetish, who enjoys worshipping feet.
Frotteurism [n]:
The paraphilia of deriving sexual pleasure from rubbing (usually genitals) against non-consenting persons.
Freak [n]:
A person with unconventional sexual preferences.
Freak on a Leash [n]:
A submissive person who enjoys being controlled, or specifically put on a leash.
H
Hand Worship [n]:
The act of worshipping a dominant’s hands for sexual pleasure. Worshipping usually involves sensual kissing, licking and sucking. The recipient and giver both achieve gratification from this act.
Hardcore [adj; n]:
Intense or extreme sexual practices.
Head [n; v]:
Oral stimulation of the genitals; can be performed on any gender.
Hotwife [n]:
A married woman who has sexual freedom with her partner’s consent, usually having sexual intercourse with other men, with or without the partner present.
Human Wallet/ATM [n]:
A derogatory/humiliating nickname given to financial submissives who achieve sexual gratification from paying money to their Dom/Domme.
Hypergamy [n]:
The practice of seeking partners of higher social or economic status
Hypergamous [adj]:
Characterised by hypergamy
J
JOI (Jerk-Off Instructions) [acronym; n]:
Verbal instructions guiding masturbation.
K
Keyholder [n]:
The title given to a Dom/Domme who holds the key to a submissive’s chastity device.
Key [n]:
In the context of BDSM, this usually refers to the key for a chastity device or lockable bindings.
Kink [n]:
Unconventional sexual preferences or behaviours.
Kinky [adj]:
Having unconventional sexual preferences.
L
Lactation Play [n]:
An activity involving the stimulation, production, or consumption of breast milk for erotic, sensory, or power-exchange purposes (e.g., nursing, milking, or feeding between partners).
Lite Kink [n]:
Milder forms of BDSM or fetish activities.
M
Masochism [n]:
Deriving pleasure from receiving pain or degradation.
(Sexual) Masochism [n]:
Deriving sexual pleasure from receiving pain or degradation.
Master/Mistress [n]:
A dominant partner in a BDSM relationship.
Milking [v; n]:
A consensual stimulation of a submissive’s prostate to extract fluid, often as part of power exchange, orgasm control, or sensory play—focused on the act itself rather than pleasure or release.
Monogamous [n]:
Practising monogamy.
Monogamy [n]:
Having only one sexual partner at a time.
O
Oral Sex (Oral) [n]:
Any sexual act which involves putting one partner’s genitals in another’s mouth for stimulation.
Owner [n]:
A dominant who claims ownership of a submissive.
P
Pain Play [n]:
Consensual activities involving physical pain for pleasure.
Paraphilia [n]:
Atypical sexual interests.
Paypig [n]:
A derogatory/humiliating nickname given to financial submissives who achieve sexual gratification from paying money to their Dom/Domme.
Pegging [n]:
A woman anally penetrating a man with a strap-on.
Pervert [n]:
A person with unconventional sexual practices.
(Sexual) Perversion [n]:
Sexual behaviour is considered abnormal or deviant from the norm.
Pet [n]:
A nickname given to a submissive by their dominant, particularly between those who enjoy pet play and owner/pet dynamics.
Pet Play [n]:
Roleplay where one person takes on animal characteristics.
Polyamorous [adj]:
Engaging in multiple consensual romantic relationships.
Polyamory [n]:
The practice of having multiple consensual romantic relationships.
Pornography (Porn) [n]:
Video or imagery of explicitly sexual nature.
Promiscuous [adj]:
Having many casual sexual relationships.
Promiscuity:
The state of being promiscuous.
Punishment [n]:
Consequence imposed for rule-breaking or undesired behaviour, used to reinforce dynamics or correct actions through negative reinforcement (e.g., time-out, physical impact, or denial of privileges).
Q
Queer [adj]:
An umbrella term for non-heteronormative sexual identities.
R
Rim [v]:
To give oral stimulation to a partner’s anus.
Rim Job [n]:
The act of giving oral stimulation to a partner’s anus.
Ruined Orgasm [n]:
An orgasm with diminished pleasure through interruption, achieved by ceasing all physical stimulation as soon as the recipient crosses the tipping point over to climax.
Reward [n]:
A positive reinforcement given by a dominant partner to a submissive for desired behaviour or compliance.
S
Sadism [n]:
Deriving pleasure from inflicting pain or humiliation.
Scene [n]:
A consensual, time-allocated interaction or session where participants engage in agreed-upon BDSM power dynamics, role-playing, or sensory/kink activities, often including safety protocols like safewords.
(Sexual) Sadism [n]:
Deriving sexual pleasure from inflicting pain.
Self-Fellatio [n]:
A sexual act in which a male gives themself oral stimulation of their own genitals, usually the penis, and usually requiring great flexibility.
Sensory Deprivation [n]:
The act of intentionally minimising (or depriving) one’s sensory stimulation for a prolonged period of time, with the intention of deepening a BDSM power dynamic or masochistic gratification.
Sexual Deviancy [n]:
Behaviours that deviate from conventional sexual norms.
Sexual Deviant [n]:
A person with unconventional sexual practices. Can be offensive in modern contexts as it was used derogatorily in the past.
Shibari [n]:
A Japanese style of artistic rope bondage, used in BDSM for restraint, aesthetic display, and trust-based power exchange between partners.
Shoe Worship [n]:
The act of kissing/licking a Dominant’s footwear to achieve masochistic gratification as a form of sexual worship—performed by a sexual submissive/masochist.
Sixty-Nine (69) [n; v]:
A sex position where both partners give and receive oral sex. One lies on top of the other, and both position their genitals atop the other’s mouth.
Slave [n]:
A submissive who relinquishes significant control to their dominant.
Sloppy Top (Sloppy toppy) [n]:
Oral stimulation of the genitals; usually used only to refer to males.
Strap-On [n]:
A harness with an attached dildo for penetration.
Sub (Submissive) [adj; n]:
The person who yields control in a BDSM context.
Subby Hubby [n]:
A submissive husband in a BDSM relationship.
Subdrop [n]:
The mental state a submissive/masochist can enter after an intense scene. Subdrop is a widely observed and reported phenomenon, often characterised as a low/depressive state following the ‘high’ of an intense BDSM scene.
Submission [n]:
The act of yielding control to another to achieve sexual gratification.
Subspace [n]:
The mental state a submissive/masochist enters during a scene or kink play. Subspace is a widely observed and reported phenomenon, often characterised as a low/depressive state following the ‘high’ of an intense BDSM scene.
Switch [v; n]:
A person who alternates between dominant and submissive roles. Or, the act of alternating between dominant and submissive roles.
T
Top [n]:
The person giving sensation or control in a scene
Trampling [v; n]:
The fetish of trampling/stamping on a submissive/masochist. The masochist receives the trampling. The sadist administers the trampling. Both derive pleasure (and the masochist feels pain!).
Troilism [n]:
Sexual interest in watching one’s partner have sex with a third person
V
Vanilla [adj; n]:
Conventional sexual practices without BDSM elements
Voyeurism [n]:
Deriving pleasure from watching others without their knowledge
W
Worship [v; n]:
A consensual act where a submissive partner reveres, adores, or pays devoted attention to a specific body part or the whole person of their dominant partner (e.g., foot worship, body worship), often as an expression of submission, devotion, or ritualised respect.
Whore [n; v]:
A promiscuous female who has sex with many men, usually for financial exchange. Or, the act of selling oneself sexually for financial gain.
FINAL THOUGHTS
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